The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
