I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
