there's paper in my vomit.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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