the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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