LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
