I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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