ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
