the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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