What a fucking waste of an outfit
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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