youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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