Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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