haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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