Are we in a gay sports bar?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
