i wish peter jackson would direct porn
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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