...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
