Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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