Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
why didn't you poke me back
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize