Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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