Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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