Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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