first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Randomize
