you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
