it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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