True but thats because hes a fetus.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I just want to make out with him forever
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
