so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
