oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
