it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
