It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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