It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
