Just took my morning after pill in the library
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize