Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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