Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
