Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
