It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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