Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
May the power of my ass compel you!!
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
