Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
