my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
