I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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