I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
