The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize