we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
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