I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
