someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
