she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
