I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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