Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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