Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
