yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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