Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I can't put those talents on a resume
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
