i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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