Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
