He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
