I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
