Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize