I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
