If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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