never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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