marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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