Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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