I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
