It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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