No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
